The Fattest Woman In The Room

Today in honor of Earth day I’m recycling. The graphic is recycled from my New Years Day graphic and this post is recycled! This isn’t an old post from this scale junkie blog so while its new to you, its not new for me. This is an old post from a blog I started on a private site before I found blogger, many of my early posts on this site were favorites from the other site. I abandoned that blog when I started this one but I went back and found this post to see how far I’ve come and how far I still have to go. It was written about a year ago when I weighed right around 400 pounds.

When I saw a post on Carolyn’s Quest, titled Fattest Girl in the Room, I was immediately reminded of that post I wrote a year ago and I went off to find it and read my words from back then. WOW, what a difference a year makes. No my body hasn’t shrunk tremendously but my attitude has changed dramatically.

The Fattest Woman in the Room

I have a little game that I play when I walk into a room. I scan the room and look around to see if I’m the fattest woman in the room. Typically I am.

This goes back to when I was in grade school and we’d have scale day…you know the day when we’d have to march down to the nurses office and get weighed in and the nurse would appoint the boy with the biggest mouth in the school to be in charge of recording the weights. Alphabetically I was towards the end of the weigh in and I’d listen so carefully to each weight being called out, I could always count on one boy to weigh more than me but I was always the biggest girl. The stress and anxiety would build up as I listened and hoped, memorizing everyone’s weight. Tears would well up in my eyes and I’d think “why do they have to do this” I remember skipping weigh in day many times, I’d tell my Mom I was sick or I’d make her write a note so I didn’t have to weigh in front of the whole class. In the 8^th grade I skipped weigh in day and I still remember the sympathetic principal Sister Francella saying to my teacher Sister Catherine, “she doesn’t look like she weighs 200 pounds does she sister?” Of course I was the bane of Sister Catherine’s existence. I was the child of the “divorcee” not just once divorced but TWICE divorced. Was there any bigger sin in 1980? No, I was going straight to hell with my sinning Mom, of that I was quite certain and reminded of daily by the good Sister. It was the beginning of my body image distortion. Looking back, it was the start of my dysfunctional relationship with food.

I still play this game when I walk into a room. I scan the room, looking to see who is bigger than I am:

In corporate educational seminars, the smaller fat girl would always come and sit next to me. I’m sure she made herself feel smaller by sitting next to me or maybe she felt certain I wouldn’t bore her with talk of my latest workout routine. Of course with these seminars came lecture halls and conference rooms, often with tiny chairs that didn’t fit my oversized behind. So along with scale fear, I had seat fear and biggest woman in the room fear. Oh and because lunch was always served at these corporate functions, I had food fear because I was always on a diet and the food served never fit in with my strict eating plan so I’d end up “blowing my diet” and eating what was provided only to let the self loathing and disgust take over and send me on yet another binge.

At social functions, again, my eyes would scan the room looking for someone bigger than I was. I very rarely found her. When the room was particularly crowded I tried to make myself invisible. If the room was crowded, I’d try to push myself as far into the corner as I could so I wasn’t in anyone’s way. Of course this would keep me from the food at a party but no worries, I’d be sure to hit a fast food place or two on the way home. At the party I’d sit in the corner and not move. I’d didn’t want to give up my comfortable seat, the one carefully chosen to support my body weight. What if the only chair available when I returned was one with arms or worse if outdoors, one of those dreaded little plastic chairs? I’ve broken quite a few of those things in my life. I’ve come to loathe the sight of them. There are so many outdoor restaurants where Ken would love to dine, sit and enjoy the view of the ocean but we can’t. My butt can’t fit. So he misses out because of me.

At the grocery store the other day, Ken saw me looking at a woman and he whispered in my ear “yes, she is bigger than you are” He knew what I was thinking without opening my mouth. My eyes immediately looked into her cart to see what she was buying. At least I wasn’t buying junk food, at least not in front of my husband. I’d buy the junk food when he wasn’t around. It was something I’d keep in my desk drawer at work or in my brief case or computer bag. I even kept oversized zip lock bags on hand to hold my giant bags of M&M’s or chocolate covered peanuts. I wouldn’t want melted chocolate everywhere or worse M&M’s falling out in front of a colleague or client.

When I see a news story about a flood and they have to rescue people from the tops of their cars and from trees and hoist them up in a basket attached to a cable and into the helicopter I think about how I’d never fit in that basket. I think about how I’d die on that rooftop because there is no way that basket and cable could support my weight. I remember a few years ago there a soccer stadium had a collapse and people were crushed. They showed people pulling others to safety…who would be able to pull my 400 pound body to safety? I am amazed at how much thought I’ve given these scenarios when I see them on the news.

Then there was the sporting events. Those tiny little hard plastic seats. Going on the spur of the moment wasn’t ever practical or acceptable. No thank you I would NOT like FREE tickets to the playoff game because I have no way of knowing if my ass would fit in the seat. I’ve turned down many tickets for this reason. I remember one of my girlfriends had a sugar daddy who was trying to impress her by flying her and a bunch of her friends to New York City for a hockey game and a Broadway musical. I turned down the invitation for this free trip because of seat fear for the plane, seat fear for the game, seat fear of the musical, seat fear from the restaurant. For months I had to listen to all of my friends talk about what a great time they had and sing songs from that musical. But still it wasn’t enough to spur me on to lose the weight. Oh sure I’d try but eventually I just cut myself off from all of them, because of my weight and many other reasons too. I could have made new friends but I didn’t want to. I just wanted to be alone and eat away my pain.

So now you see why I need to lose weight? To fit in the chair, to be saved in a disaster, to simply not be the fattest woman in the room. You see, if none of those things kill me, carrying these extra pounds surely will. This is a matter of life and death.

Not much to ask for yet it feels like the world. It feels like a world away. I’m down 25 pounds and I have just a mere 200 and some to go. I WILL get there. I know I will.

Avoiding the Panic Button, Learning to Trust Myself

My sister offered to take us out to dinner last night. In the past I would have jumped at a chance to go out to dinner and typically I’d order something I don’t cook at home…something decadent and sinfully delicious. I wanted this dinner out to be different. I knew about it in advance, there was plenty of time to look at the restaurant website and I ate breakfast and lunch accordingly. There was no need to panic, it was a meal out in a restaurant, it was meant to be an enjoyable evening…NO NEED TO PANIC.

On the way to the restaurant, my sister remembered an event going on in the area of the restaurant and suggested another restaurant that we all love and immediately Ken said YES! Panic.panic.panic. I said yes too but the whole time my head was spinning. Panic.panic.panic I knew the other restaurant had grilled meat served with steamed veggies. I knew I could get a side salad and a baked potato. I crammed my bottle of SPRAY ON SALAD DRESSING into my handbag so I wouldn’t waste calories on salad dressing. Now this change, now this different restaurant and my brain went into overdrive remembering the calorie count of everything I ate when I was there the last time. Why was I letting this cause panic? Why can’t I learn to trust myself?

We arrived at Sweet Tomato, a soup, salad, pasta, bakery, all you can eat restaurant and I proceeded to fill my plate with everything I wanted, some things that I knew were higher in calories I took a small taste and filled the rest of my plate with “safe food” I had dinner and went to the bakery bar and had a chocolate brownie muffin and a small amount of chocolate frozen yogurt on top. Then the cookie lady came around and gave us each a chocolate chip cookie…fresh from the bakery.

After we finished our meal Ken remarked that I would need to do a double workout on Friday. Even my sister, who is also a perpetual dieter, remarked that I had more calories in one meal than I had in days. I just smiled and told them that I had estimated the calorie count from my meal to be about 1300 calories. They both laughed as if to humor me and I knew they thought my estimate was way off.

When we got home I asked them both how many calories they thought I had, Ken said 2500, my sister said closer to 3000. So we sat down and made a list of everything I ate every bite and did estimations on the portion sizes using methods I’ve learned. The whole time Ken kept suggesting that this was a VERY BAD idea, that I was better off not knowing how many calories I had. He didn’t want to listen to me beat myself up over the calories like I’ve done so many times in the past. He was right about that, in the past when I've been upset, he is the one who hears about it and he was trying to spare me the hurt. But I wanted to know, I needed to know!

We then went to the website and looked up the information and wrote it down next to the foods I had listed. We added up the calories and I was shocked to see the total!! My number was off by 50 calories; my calorie count using the nutritional information was 1250. Added to the breakfast and lunch from earlier in the day and I was still within my calorie range.

Buffets were something very scary to my whole concept of diet but now I’ve learned to look at them in a new light. With the buffet I can have ONE bite here and there of the higher calorie foods and satisfy my need to have that taste without breaking the calorie bank while filling up on the previously overlooked nutritious foods. I had bites of things last night that I wouldn't normally eat, but I limited it to just a bite or two. In the past, depriving myself of forbidden foods has caused binges on them later. Today I'm in no danger of binging and I don't feel deprived.

I keep a list of “safe” things to order at most of the restaurants we go to. Because Sweet Tomato is a buffet, I don't have a list for them but I had just been there in February and thankfully the calorie count of the items came back to me when I needed them. If you haven't made a list of the healthy choices for restaurants you frequent, now is a good time to do so, it doesn't have to be fancy but you should allow yourself a few choices for each restaurant and when you get there, order from your list, NOT from the menu.

Restaurants are probably something I’ll always struggle with. We go out so infrequently that when we do go out it’s a treat and I haven’t fully convinced myself that treat does not equal high fat, high calorie foods but I've made improvements by leaps and bounds.

Still Watching Thin People

Yesterday was my sister’s Debs birthday. I called her to wish her a happy birthday and while we were talking, her cell phone rang and it was my niece Jabber Jaws calling to ask her what her favorite candy bar was. (She wouldn't have answered had it been anyone else but her daughter)

She told Jabber Jaws she liked Paydays. When she came back on the phone to me I said “do they even make those any more and more importantly, how can you be my sister and your favorite candy bar NOT contain chocolate?” She thought about it for a minute and decided she would rather have a peppermint patty….no wait, a pack of gum. Winter fresh. So Debs called Jabber Jaws back on the cell phone while I waited on the land line. While we waited for Jabber Jaws to get home, she told us that she knew what else they were picking up for her birthday, she had requested a book that is the life story of a recovering addict that just so happens to be someone my sister Debs knows through her own recovery journey. We talked a bit more about her friends book and about addiction in general. We both agree that while different, our addictions are similar in nature. About five minutes later Jabber Jaws arrived home and surprise she got the book she wanted for her birthday and a payday, peppermint patty and gum.

Why is any of this important? We both struggle with addictions; mine to foods, hers to drugs and alcohol. This is my sister who was always thin. I haven’t seen her in over 5 years and she says she has gained weight but I’m sure her gaining weight is not like MY gaining weight. Sure she has always had a sweet tooth and during Easter time she can destroy a package of Peeps faster than anyone I know. But again, peeps aren’t chocolate. Her sweet tooth leans more towards the sugary candy and my sweet tooth goes straight to the chocolate. But what did she really want to satisfy her sweet too…a pack of gum. It really makes me look at myself and think about my choices and where I can improve and change.

One of the early entries on my blog was called Watching Thin People perhaps this is something I need to do more often. I really think we can learn from watching thin people and their food choices.

OH and remember how much I stressed wondering if I should have told my sister about my blog or not? She said “Oh by the way, I still haven’t checked out your blog yet” I’m still haven’t told anyone else in my family about the blog yet, maybe someday.

Finding new pastimes

Yesterday was one of those days when it started raining early in the morning and it still hadn’t stopped when we went to bed. The perfect weather for a lazy Sunday. I had planned a hike in the park to get in a bit of exercise and fresh air but even the best of plans can change due to Mother Nature. Yesterday was supposed to be a carefree lazy day and really, it ended up being just that and more.

Needless to say, the puppers hated yesterday. Rain means no dog park, no hiking and certainly no evening walk. Sadie was quite vocal about her dissatisfaction with the day’s events. Max looked up at me with puppy dog eyes as if I could magically make the rain stop and salvage their walk time.

I noticed something later in the day. I had felt hungrier than normal. I had pretty much grazed all day. Thankfully I had grazed on fruits and vegetables and not junk food but still, I felt like I ate all day. It wasn’t until around 2:00pm that I realized, they weren’t feelings of hunger, they were feelings of boredom.

Eating was a favorite pastime for so many years. It served as a diversion to the lonely and boring times. I’m no longer lonely and my life is anything but boring but still I found myself resorting to grazing as a means of passing the time. Of course as soon as I realized what I was doing, I went to my list of projects and decided that packing away winter clothes was the good use of my time and it would keep me from snacking.

As I packed away the winter clothes I smiled and looked them over knowing that in the fall they wouldn’t be gracing my body. In the fall they will literally fall off of my body. A lot of my 30/32’s are already big and I just want to say with complete certainty, I’ve worn them for the last time. Goodbye 30/32 winter clothes!

Bad and Good, Learning Along The Way

Tuesday check in for the Health You Challenge! As scheduled I got on the scale this morning. I hadn't weighed in during the past month and I was so excited to see that number, I've really been putting in the work for the past two weeks. I’ll admit my first reaction when I got on the scale this morning was, you’re kidding me, is this some kind of bad April Fool’s Day joke? I checked and double check thinking there was some sort of mechanical error but unfortunately there was not. The scale has not changed.

I could beat myself up over this or I could look at the past month.

• Sporadically kept track of calories
• Had a few too many “indulgences” without earning them
  
• Sodium over load Easter weekend along with carrot cake
  
• I did walk daily and on start to increase my exercise

Over the past week I’ve been faithfully recording calories and I’ve changed up my exercise routine a bit.

One of the traps I fell into was not tracking the calories in heart healthy foods closely enough, yes olive oil and avocados are very tasty and heart healthy but they are also higher in calories. YES, I should eat them but I also need to count their calories. The good news is, I think when it comes to maintaining my weight, I'll be an old pro!

Another mentality I slipped into over Easter weekend was "its just a piece of cake" Well, that "just a piece of cake" has 500 calories and I had two pieces in two days. Now had those 500 calories been within my calorie range...ok, but they weren't. 500 calories is close to 2 hours of exercise (for me) so unless I'm willing to put in all of that extra exercise, I'm NOT having that extra food. For the past week, I have been doing a great job staying in my calorie range while eating a variety of foods and even struggling to eat the minimum calories needed. When you eat clean, you can eat so much more!

I also took my measurements and there is something very special I want to share about my measurements but I’ve decided to save those for tomorrows post. It’s a HUGE milestone for me worthy of its own post.

The scale may not have moved but overall I’m quite pleased with the way I’ve turned things around in the past week and I’m confident that I’ll see a weight loss in the month of April. The pride is back, the drive and fire that I had when I started has returned and I’m a woman on a mission. I want to be under 300 pounds by the end of this year! That’s about 1.5 pounds per week a safe and healthy rate of loss, let’s just hopes my stubborn fat cooperates and wants to be eradicated.

Rupa, Ready Maid and Chubby Chick have all awarded me the Nice Matters award and I just have to say how really honored I feel. It really means a lot to know people think of me when deciding who they would want to award. I try to put thought into my posts and I do try to visit as many blogs as I can in a week because there is so much value in the words of my fellow bloggers. I’ve learned so much and I’ve come so far and I want to thank everyone for their support. I know I’m supposed to award this to others but honestly, I’d be typing all day if I had to list everyone who deserves this award, honestly, you all do!

Thank you everyone who called my desk “clean” on my Saturday post. Yes the front part of my desk was clean but did you see those book shelves? I know you couldn’t see that dust! (achoooo) Don’t forget to take a photo of your base of operations and post it for all of us to see!

Please stop back tomorrow for my HUGE NSV!! I’m excited and I can’t wait to share.

The Healthy YOU Challenge

Hi everyone! A few months ago I mentioned starting a Healthy YOU Challenge to help stay focused on this battle against obesity. I wanted the challenge to be about SUPPORT, not just about weight loss. I wanted to be about getting healthy or making the healthiest version you can of who you are right now.

I started off planning for the challenge to be a part of my blog but the more work I put into it, the more I came to realize that the challenge needed a blog of its own. The challenge needed to be separate from my blog where I share my thoughts and frustrations. With being said, I've created a blog for the challenge. You can visit the challenge blog starting TODAY but please keep in mind, its a work in progress. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated as always.

I want the challenge board to feel like home to you so please let me know if there is anything you would like to see added and of course if YOU would like to join the challenge, check out the blog and follow the instructions for joining by clicking on the button or by clicking here on The Healthy You Challenge link

Thank you everyone for your support, input and patience!

Diana

Happy Halloween!

First up, for my Tales from the Scales group. I’m happy to say that my weight down ONE pound. I feel so good and so strong. I’m running a few steps further every night, I’m changing from the inside out. I think the biggest change has been a mental change. I don’t want to give up, not now, not ever. I’ve made so many wonderful friends out there in weight loss blog land and I don’t want them to ever give up either. We are all winners; I believe this from the bottom of my heart. So if you’ve had a good week, congratulations, if you’ve had a so-so week that’s ok too and if you’ve gained…next week is YOUR week to shine! Keep working and don’t ever give up! You can check out how others did this week by clicking here

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I’m so glad the darn kids are coming tonight to get the candy OUT of my house!! I swear if they don’t show up, I’m going to hunt them down and make them take the candy…I know where they live!

We went our normal evening walk/jog, thankfully I didn’t inhale any gnats. I know that living in Florida bugs are a part of our world and I’m sure they serve a purpose in the whole circle of life but that doesn’t mean I have to like them. I’m kinda bummed that we won’t be able to take a walk tonight because our normal walk time is during Trick-or-Treat hours and while I could just leave the candy dish on the front porch while we are gone, I don’t want Sadie and Max freaked out by all of the little ghouls and goblins. As it is, Sadie has barked at every scarecrow in every front yard, and nearly every front yard has one, including ours. The neighbor has one of those lighted skulls on the ground with hands sticking up making it look buried from the neck up, she was very fascinated by it, Max just wanted to pee on it, thankfully I stopped him before he took aim. We were walking through the neighborhood tonight and it was after 7:30 and dark but a cool night. People had their front doors open and I could see one family carving their pumpkin through the screened door, another house had its garage door open working on projects, and the neighborhood felt alive. Typically when we walk we hear the hum of central air conditioning units but few people are outside. Everyone seems to be in a good mood and I really think the autumn like weather has a lot to do with it, lets hope it stays around for a while!

Lucky Halloween!

Diana

2008 Challenge Anyone?

So many of us have a large amount of weight to lose or lose slowly, Is anyone up for a challenge to last the whole year of 2008?

I've quit in the middle of the year or after a few months so many times, this time is different and I know I'm going to need all of the support I can get. We all do.

Maybe called: Healthy YOU 2008 challenge

I'm willing to host it and make cute little buttons for our side bar, heaven knows I love playing with graphics (see my header) LOL. We can have buttons for number of pounds lost and other NSV.

I really wanted to have some sort of support system because I see people start blogs and then quit...I don't want any of us to ever quit or give up. If we notice that someone hasn't blogged for a while and they didn't mention a vacation or a cruise around the world, we could post comments on their blog or email them so that if they have given up, our support might put them back on track again.

The only rules I'd have (so far) would be:
Must follow a healthy diet, no crash dieting
Exercise if physically able, if currently exercising, kick it up a notch!
Be supportive to other challenge members.
Join any time during the year but must be willing to accept harassment, erm support if you quit without notification LOL

Ideas?

Feedback?

Week 2 Results: A letter from me to me

Dear Me,

I know how angry you are right now because you’ve gained weight this week. How dare the scale go UP instead of down? Yesterday you were up .8 pounds and today…you are up 3.8 pounds??? Its not the end of the world. I know your diet has been perfect every day but one in the past week. I know you’ve worked your ass off working out only to find you have more ass than when you started! I know how upsetting the scale going up instead of down can be and I know you can feel a bit down because of it but before you get discouraged and falling back into the defeatist mentality, why don't you stop and treat yourself with the same respect as you do others?

When someone else has a week where they gain after eating right and working out what do you tell them? Muscle weighs more than fat; keep making healthy choices and the weight will catch up. Did you take your measurements? Scales are evil hunks of metal and glass and you can't let your mood be dictated by them. Don't give up. Slow and steady wins the race. Yes, these are heartfelt words you wrote on other people’s blogs, you encourage them yet you are so quick to beat yourself up over the same thing? Why do you hold yourself to a higher standard? Why can't you treat yourself as well as you treat others? Why don't you take a look at all of the good things you are doing right?

Lets stop and look at some positives:

1. you JOGGED!! You have jogged every day during your walk for the past five nights. Every night you set your goal for just a little bit further and you make it! Remember how on that first night you were gasping for air so bad you were afraid you were going to have a heart attack right in front of that mean woman’s house who hates Max and Sadie and you thought to yourself "I won't give her the satisfaction of dying on her lawn" (yes, it still sounds twisted as when you first thought it but it kept you running didn't it!)? Well you didn't give up then and now you jog right past her house with ease and past several more houses! Don’t give up now!

2. You did strength training four times last week. Your arms were aching for a good reason!

3. You did WATP in the morning four out of seven mornings last week and you did the neighborhood walk with some jogging added in SIX times last week and did mall walking and stairs on your anniversary.

4. You found a balance between cheesecake and calories and stayed within your calorie range every single day last week, even on your anniversary!

5. You lost over 11.5 inches overall of your body in the past week and your wedding ring that was once tight, is spinning in circles on your finger.

6. You are able put pull that pair of black pants up and down without undoing the button or the zipper!! You couldn't even zip them last year!

7. Your body is moving better and is so much stronger and flexible than it was just two weeks ago.

8. You’ve stepped off the emotional roller coaster and taken control of your diet and exercise.

Yes, you have a few areas to improve. You need to eat yogurt and get another serving of low fat dairy in every day. Don't forget about eating all of those wonderful fruits and veggies too!! Please ignore the Halloween candy that has been calling your name, its not meant for you, its meant for the children of the neighborhood/paparazzi who mob you every time they see Max and Sadie and lets face it Max and Sadie will be really upset if you try to pass out their doggie biscuits as to the paparazzi on Halloween because you ate all of the candy so just do everyone one a favor and stay out of the candy!!

Try to be kinder to yourself like you would be to others. You are doing a phenomenal job. I realize you want the weight gone but you didn't gain it overnight, you are not going to lose it over night. Besides, isn't better to do this the right way? Slow and steady wins the race. Don't ever give up, don't ever quit!! You've come so far in such a short time and you should be so proud of your accomplishments!

Chin up kiddo, you are a rock star!!

Love,
Me

Celebrating...Our Aniversary, Positive Mental Shift and Cooler Weather!!

Yesterday was our 6^th Anniversary! We had a wonderful day together. We started the day with breakfast at our favorite breakfast place that offers a lot of healthy choices like turkey sausage, egg white omelets and sliced tomatoes in place of potatoes. We then headed to the Christmas shop just because it makes me happy to walk around and look at all of the pretty decorations. Then we headed to International Plaza, a shopping mall that houses the higher end shops like Tiffany’s and Louis Vuitton. By the time we left the mall we had spent over $250,000!! Of course it was $250,000 in window shopping dollars, not actual dollars. Maybe I didn’t need that third Prada handbag. Because our extensive walking and stair climbing at the mall, I allowed for an indulgence at The Cheesecake Factory before we left the mall. We had planned to visit our favorite Greek restaurant but the cheesecake was very filling and we ended up watching movies in bed instead. Probably a good thing since I found out the cheesecake made with Splenda still has over 600 calories! Even with that indulgence, I still stayed within my calories for the day.

Its nice to have a treat and not feel guilty. In the past I probably would have beat myself up over the Cheesecake. As it was, at 2:30 in the afternoon when we sat there eating our cheesecake, other people sat and watched. You could feel the stares and woman seated next to us made a point of telling her date how hard she had been dieting and cheesecake wasn’t on her diet. Yes, she was talking THAT loud but I ate my cheesecake without guilt knowing that I was within my calorie limits and that I’m in this for life. This isn’t a diet, it’s a lifestyle and by allowing for indulgences, I keep myself sane and on track. In the past, a slice of cheesecake would have sent me on a “why bother” and I would have spent the rest of the weekend on an eating free for all…no MORE!!

Besides the walking at the mall, I did come home and do strength training exercises. My legs were kind of achy from running on Wednesday night.

This morning I was treated to a glorious treat! The weather has finally cooled a bit here in Florida. Yesterday was sunny but quite humid. Today the humidity is down and the air is cool 65 degrees! After months of 80’s and 90’s 24/7, this is a true TREAT! I know it won’t last but I plan on enjoying it while I can with an extra long walk/jog tonight!

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who left comments on Wednesday’s post. Your kind words mean so much.

So Happy Its Tuesday

WOW!! I woke up today and my inbox was FULL of wonderful comments from all of you!

I'm still flying high over the 7 POUND LOSS yesterday and I really needed to have something good happen this week!

I joined the Looking Great in 2008 Challenge over on Tales From Scales! I thought it would be fun to stay accountable with a group of people who are trying to make the most of the rest of this year too. I know a lot of you are already a part of the challenge but if you aren't, check it out!!

This is an emotional week. I will post more about it later.

From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank you all for your ongoing support and encouragement.