Physical assessment

My post yesterday about the physical labor I intend to do with my flooring project not only made me stop and take stock in just how far I’ve come but also left me speculating about where I’d be next year. I’ve decided that I need to do a physical assessment now so that in one year’s time I can have a reminder of just how far I've come.

So far I’m thinking of adding these to my list. They would be performed over the course of one week with a few done each day:

• Timed walking one mile, take my time for one mile this year and compare it to one mile next year
• Distance: How far can I jog before I have to stop
• Modified pushups

So now I’m asking all of you, what else should be on my list? What is a good measure of your physical strength right now? What should be on my list? What would be on your list?

On the ball, Off the ball

Yesterday I was sitting on my physio ball getting ready for crunches, Sadie and Max came charging in from outside and leaned over to put my foot out to slow them down. Full of confidence from that maneuver, I sat back up I started to play with my balance. I was feeling pretty proud of how strong my core strength is becoming and I pushed myself even further. I was lost in thought in my own little world.

Just then, Ken walked into the kitchen and startled me, I lost my balance and fell sideways off the ball. I caught myself with my forearm, sat up and started to stretch out arm and neck. Our kitchen has an open area that looks into the family room where I was using the ball. He saw me but didn't see me fall. As he came around the corner he noticed me rubbing my shoulder.

What did you do to your shoulder?

I fell off the ball

What did you do that for? You’re meant to stay on the ball not fall off of it

Thanks coach! I would have been falling off the ball all afternoon if you hadn’t told me that.

Geeeeeezzzze, I was only trying to help

I really do enjoy using the physio ball and there are many sites that demo exercises you can do with the ball, of course none of them include the falling off maneuver that I did yesterday, to get a full body workout. Crunches are so much easier using the ball. I was so immobile when I first started exercising I had a hard time getting up off the floor, when I fell yesterday I amazed myself with how easily I was able to get back up again.

Just don’t fall off your ball or I’ll send Ken over to tell you that you aren’t suppose do that ;-)

a moment in time

Just a few short years ago, I was a woman working in the corporate world, full of drive and ambition. I worked 60 to 70 hours per week with a very busy social life. My wardrobe consisted mostly casual business wear, dress pants, skirts, blouses that I would tie into my social life. I think I owned one pair of jeans back then, but they were black. I know, I can hear the gasping but black jeans were somewhat fashionable back then. I honestly don’t think I knew how to dress casual back then. I didn’t own any athletic clothes and I had one pair of athletic shoes leftover from high school and the pair I wore during my aerobics phase from June of 1991 to September of 1991.

I was still quite overweight during this time, somewhere around 275 and even back then I let my weight consume me…but not to the point where it kept me away from happy hour festivities, but enough that I would maintain my weight.

Somewhere around 1996 my life changed drastically and with a series of letdowns and personal tragedies, I quit caring. I realized that people who I called friends were going down paths I didn’t want to follow. My family life shattered. I kept working the long hours but my social life became nonexistent. The office dress code policy had gone casual somewhere along the way and I finally started dressing casually too…but I still couldn’t embrace the workout shoe or athletic clothes.

WOW how my life changed! 10 years later I gained 175 pounds. A few good things happened in those 10 years, I met Ken. He caught me completely off guard. I had resigned myself to being alone forever and then of course he showed up, being all cute and charming with that English accent. Yes, a few good things happened along the way but you know my weight has always stood in the way of enjoying things and events. I always avoided being in photos because I was too fat. Then along came Ken and he was going to take my picture and I wasn’t going to stop him so I might as well smile. I’m glad he forced the issue because I have some wonderful memories captured because he wanted to take my picture.

So where is my life now? Struggling self employed, married with the wonder twins, Sadie and Max. The only thing I miss about my old job is the paycheck. For the first time in my adult life I’ve included fitness in my life for more than four months. I’ve been walking daily now since August of 2007. I’ve only missed a few days due to weather or injury, I’ve never missed a walk due to lazy.I feel alive. I feel AWAKE and aware of the world around me. I feel like I'm living life, not just merely existing.

What does my wardrobe look like now? I still have lots of professional looking clothes, I still have the dressy casual clothes but a new item has worked its way into my wardrobe. The athletic clothes and athletic shoes! I now have two pairs of athletic shoes and I want more. I’ve found a pair of plus size capris that I love because they wick away the sweat. Wick away sweat?!? I didn’t even know there was such a thing until Nan over at Running from the Pudge recommended that I look for socks that wick away the sweat! I haven’t found tops in my size with wicking that don’t cost a fortune (this is where I miss the paycheck the most) but hopefully I will.

My newest quest is to find plus size workout clothes that are reasonably priced. The bottoms must be capris, the tops must be lightweight to accommodate the Florida weather.

I know I’ve said it before but it needs to be said again. I feel so much better since I started exercising and here I am, looking at the athletic clothes, who is this woman looking back at me from the mirror?

Bad and Good, Learning Along The Way

Tuesday check in for the Health You Challenge! As scheduled I got on the scale this morning. I hadn't weighed in during the past month and I was so excited to see that number, I've really been putting in the work for the past two weeks. I’ll admit my first reaction when I got on the scale this morning was, you’re kidding me, is this some kind of bad April Fool’s Day joke? I checked and double check thinking there was some sort of mechanical error but unfortunately there was not. The scale has not changed.

I could beat myself up over this or I could look at the past month.

• Sporadically kept track of calories
• Had a few too many “indulgences” without earning them
  
• Sodium over load Easter weekend along with carrot cake
  
• I did walk daily and on start to increase my exercise

Over the past week I’ve been faithfully recording calories and I’ve changed up my exercise routine a bit.

One of the traps I fell into was not tracking the calories in heart healthy foods closely enough, yes olive oil and avocados are very tasty and heart healthy but they are also higher in calories. YES, I should eat them but I also need to count their calories. The good news is, I think when it comes to maintaining my weight, I'll be an old pro!

Another mentality I slipped into over Easter weekend was "its just a piece of cake" Well, that "just a piece of cake" has 500 calories and I had two pieces in two days. Now had those 500 calories been within my calorie range...ok, but they weren't. 500 calories is close to 2 hours of exercise (for me) so unless I'm willing to put in all of that extra exercise, I'm NOT having that extra food. For the past week, I have been doing a great job staying in my calorie range while eating a variety of foods and even struggling to eat the minimum calories needed. When you eat clean, you can eat so much more!

I also took my measurements and there is something very special I want to share about my measurements but I’ve decided to save those for tomorrows post. It’s a HUGE milestone for me worthy of its own post.

The scale may not have moved but overall I’m quite pleased with the way I’ve turned things around in the past week and I’m confident that I’ll see a weight loss in the month of April. The pride is back, the drive and fire that I had when I started has returned and I’m a woman on a mission. I want to be under 300 pounds by the end of this year! That’s about 1.5 pounds per week a safe and healthy rate of loss, let’s just hopes my stubborn fat cooperates and wants to be eradicated.

Rupa, Ready Maid and Chubby Chick have all awarded me the Nice Matters award and I just have to say how really honored I feel. It really means a lot to know people think of me when deciding who they would want to award. I try to put thought into my posts and I do try to visit as many blogs as I can in a week because there is so much value in the words of my fellow bloggers. I’ve learned so much and I’ve come so far and I want to thank everyone for their support. I know I’m supposed to award this to others but honestly, I’d be typing all day if I had to list everyone who deserves this award, honestly, you all do!

Thank you everyone who called my desk “clean” on my Saturday post. Yes the front part of my desk was clean but did you see those book shelves? I know you couldn’t see that dust! (achoooo) Don’t forget to take a photo of your base of operations and post it for all of us to see!

Please stop back tomorrow for my HUGE NSV!! I’m excited and I can’t wait to share.

Moving Buffet – All You Can Eat

We headed out for a two mile walk at around 7pm and it was still warm and pleasant. I started off walking nice and slow, stopped for the neighborhood kids to fuss over Sadie and Max and then Ken said “otthhoooh, I felt a drop”

I looked up to see a dark could that seemed to be just over our heads, there weren’t a lot of clouds, just this one cloud. But it was enough soak us if it decided to start raining. I thought about turning back but I really wanted to get in a good two mile walk so instead of turning back, I picked up the pace, I was going to out walk the rain. For the first mile I power walked and jogged almost the entire route. We reached a fork in the road where turning right led home, turning left led to the two mile route. I asked him which way, 1 mile or 2 and he said “it’s entirely up to you”. I could tell he wasn’t in the mood to walk but I needed to walk. The dark cloud was gone and the sky was clear once again, I had no excuses. I turned left and we rounded the corner and started up the hill.

Ken set the pace and with very little effort, his long legs move fast and we were walking at a brisk pace. When we got to the steepest part of the incline, I thought for sure he would slow down… there was no stopping him, he started power walking!

Max pulled liked a little sled dog, trying to pull me up the hill faster. He hates when Sadie and Ken are ahead of him and he turned around and gave me a little “woof” as if to say “hurry up!” Point taken Max, I pushed forward. We got to the top of the hill and walked down around the community center and I had a chance to catch my breath and catch up.

I had been so caught up in the moment of walking and focused on my muscles and breathing that I was oblivious to most everything else around me. I realized that almost the whole way, my arms had been getting a workout too…from swatting away the MOSQUITOS!

I looked over towards Ken and Sadie and there seemed to be hundreds of them in the air around them! We always wear sunscreen with bug repellent when we walk and the puppers have the super thick coats to protect them, along with monthly heartworm/flea tick prevention and typically they leave Ken alone but I’m extra tasty. Bugs love me!

I asked Ken if he could see a lot of bugs around me too and he could. I was tired but I was ready to get the last ½ mile out of the way and get home! I told Ken I was going to jog as far as I could down the hill, so I did, I jogged almost all the way down the hill. I started to get tired and felt like I wanted to stop but those pesky mosquitoes kept me going. I figured if they wanted to chase me I was going to make them work for their supper, this buffet was on the move!

Its not easy being Sadie

I wanted to mix up my walking routine a little bit so I planned a new route. We’ve been walking the same base route around the block since we found Sadie and Max over two years ago. When I wanted to walk for fitness we expanded the route to make it 1 mile, then 1.5 mile. We have a 2 mile route that we walk occasionally but every walk has the familiar. The same houses, the same trees, the same dogs barking from us from their window or back yard.

My body needed a change so I found a route that wasn’t flat as a pancake, I found a route with a small grade, I can’t really call it a hill, it was a grade incline but it was enough.

Our new route involved leaving our house and turning right, we always turn left, walking down the block and around the corner…around the corner into new territory. My glutes and hammy’s LOVED the new route, Sadie did not.

When we came back to the corner I said to Ken, I think she missed getting her pine cone tonight. Since we had already walked 2 miles on a new route with inclines and grades to make my legs work harder we might as well walk down the block and around the corner and down to the pine cone tree. I didn’t calculate it until this morning but my 2 mile walk turned into a 2.5 mile walk. That half mile walk to get the pine cone was worth it to see Sadie back to her bouncy self!

I never thought that taking a new route would evoke such strong emotion from Sadie. Max trotted along sniffing the new things and checking out the new people. Sadie hated it! Where was her favorite place to roll? Where was the man down the block who (in Sadie’s mind) looks forward to her slobbery kisses? Where was the most favorite tree with pine cones? Sadie is a creature of habit. Every day when we walk past this tree she takes a pine cone and carries it for a while and will drop it in a random yard. Or she’ll give it to me or Ken and expect us to throw it or kick it so she can chase after it.

We ran into the man who told us the story of the pine cones again and how proud he was that he solved the big mystery on the block. For the past year puzzled people down the block have been wondering, they’ve been speculating, they asked…how did a pine cone from that tree WAY DOWN THERE end up in my yard….the answer? Sadie!

Sadie is a creature of habit, she is the alpha dog, she likes the familiar and she likes the safe and she thinks the world revolves around her, Queen Sadie Great Empress of the Universe. Max enjoyed exploring the new areas and sniffing new scents.

I think Max has the right idea. You need to mix things up once in a while to keep them interesting. Today after walking the new route with the hills, my legs are feeling like they had a workout yesterday! Mixing things up every once in a while is good for my body…now if we can only find a way to keep Queen Sadie Great Empress of the Universe happy with the new routes…

Just like Heaven

Yesterday was my lazy. Correction, this past weekend was a lazy weekend. Last week I was on fire when it came to workouts. I was running up and down the steps of the tower, walking, riding the exercise bike and giving my all!

Saturday the rain came and with it a splitting headache and the start of the lazies and they brought the munchies with them. I did manage to get out and walk on Saturday and Sunday but I did nothing else apart from eat and watch movies. LAZY! Where was my fire? Where was the drive and determination? It was sitting in between the cream cheese frosting of a piece of carrot cake that’s where it was.

I used food. Like a drug addict or alcoholic I told myself, just a little bit won’t hurt. The truth of the matter is, I didn’t over do it. I only had a little bit but it was enough to make me feel lethargic and leave me craving MORE! I feel like I've gained about 10 pounds. The craving for chocolate yesterday was unbearable. I felt exhausted even after several cups of coffee. I even blogged about how lazy I was feeling. Lost in the haze of allergy medication and a sugar hangover I was sitting on the edge of disaster. One wrong move and I’d end up on a downward spiral into depression and self loathing.

When will I learn that certain foods are not my friend? Chips and dip tell me “that dress looks fabulous on you” then I see the photos and know it was a lie. Pizza tells me my hair would look great in the latest style that doesn’t even look good on a model. Garlic bread forgets my birthday. Carrot cake dumps me when it gets a better offer from another friend. Chocolate leaves me passed out cold in a field in the middle of nowhere wearing only a sombrero and then posts pictures of it all over the internet.

The good news is…and I know what you’re thinking right now but I can tell you that I’ve never passed out in a sombrero so don’t run off to google to look for those pictures…the good news is, I’ve found the cure to get past the hangover feeling. I’ve found a cure to get rid of the lazy feeling, the drowning in a bottomless pit of despair feelings. They are gone, they are outta here! I said it was good news but I didn’t say you were going to like it.

Quite simply the cure is putting on your cross trainers and walking a few miles. Getting out there and making my blood pump and filling my lungs with fresh air turned my day from darkness and despair to sunshine and roses. I know. It’s what they’ve been saying all along. Exercise is good for you, blah blah blah. I don’t like it any more than you do and believe me if there was a pill that could do this and make me feel this way, I’d be a drug addict for that pill. If I could bottle and sell the feeling that exercise gives me I’d have to say move over Liliane Bettencourt, I’m the richest woman in the world now!

Unfortunately there is no pill that can replace the magic of exercise. That feeling can’t be bottled and sold it can only be achieved by spending some time making your heart pump and working your muscles. Fortunately it doesn’t take an hour of exercise to capture the feeling, a stroll around the block is a good place to start. If you can’t do 20 minutes, just start. Just do something, do anything. The feeling you get, this natural euphoric high, its just like heaven.

I forgot what eight was for

It's the eighth week of the year and its time for my weekly report. Just a little diddy about exercise, new shoes, disgusting sandwiches, scale obsession, motivation and me!

I’m happy to report that my knee is feeling better. I’ve been going stir crazy missing my nightly walk, Ken has been taking the puppers because they demand to go for a walk after dinner. Seriously, they get quite vocal and attempt to sit on me until they get to go. Last night we walked our 1 mile route and by the time we got home I felt alive again. That little something that has been missing, it was exercise! I never thought in a million years I’d be one of those people, you know the kind who actually likes to exercise. I always thought they were freaks but call me a freak because I love to walk! It makes me feel great it makes me feel groovy!!

Did I tell you I found new shoes? What a world of difference!! I’m so happy, my feet are even happier. Honestly, last night, with my knee feeling strong, I wanted to jog just a little bit but my “trainer” advised against it. I believe his exact words were "are you mad?" (mad as in crazy, not mad as in angry, yeah I know his accent can be thick at times can't it?)

Speaking of my “trainer” he was highly offended that so many people thought his sandwich concoction (bacon, egg, cheese, peanut butter and pickle on toast) that I posted about on Sunday was disgusting. Yeah, I know. It’s still disgusting, did you feel your stomach turn just a bit when you got to the peanut butter and then you eyes watered when you read pickle?...me too.

Next Tuesday I’ll be weighing in for the first time in six weeks. I’ve decided to weigh in on the first Tuesday of each month from here on out. I know a lot of people think I’m crazy but honestly, I didn’t get the name Scale Junkie for nothing. I was seriously addicted to weighing in. I would weigh myself first thing in the morning and then every time I went into the bathroom for the rest of the day. I started picking my wardrobe based on how easy it would be to quickly strip naked before I jumped on the scale and then quickly redress. I let the numbers on the scale dictate my moods and my progress. When Ken recognized this last year, he took the scale away. Yeah he caught me stripping naked in the middle of the day and was exciting until he realized I was doing it for the scale and not him. Later that afternoon, he hid them without warning. Oh yeah, there was a lot of fighting, screaming and crying going on in the house that day but I was the only one doing the fighting, screaming and crying. He held his ground and kept the scale hidden. I have a feeling he rotates the hiding places. Believe me, I’ve looked.

The truth is, my motivation comes and goes. I will stay on plan 100% for weeks on end and then over eat for a few days. I’ve noticed a huge connection between my ability to exercise and what I put in my mouth. A rational person would think that if they were injured and couldn’t exercise then maybe they should really watch their food intake; me? I got a “why bother” attitude. This tells me what? That I'm not rational? LOL Or maybe I still have a LOT of work to do.

I know there are people out there who are the same. They’ve been playing around with those same 10 or 20 pounds for the last year or so but just can’t seem to get past that point. In the past I’ve compared this progress to walking in circles and that’s still true today. I have a lot to learn about myself. I have issues I’m still working on resolving. If I lose 30 pounds, 50 pounds or 100 pounds this year, it’s a loss. I’d be the biggest liar in the world if I said my weight didn’t matter to me. It does. I WANT and NEED to get this weight off but I really need to do this my way and my way is by resolving issues as I go but I cannot, I WILL NOT become a slave to the numbers on the scale ever again. This is a journey, not a race and along the way I'm learning to get a grip on emotional eating and portion distortion!

Exercise High

Yesterday was a great day! I’ve been going through the motions of being back in the groove of things but it was the first day that I really and truly felt it in my energy levels. WOW!! Is this what it feels like when you eat right and exercise? And I gave that up for some cookies and candy? How crazy must I be?

Yesterday I did 1 mile Walk Away the Pounds, two 15 minute sessions on the exercise bike and a 2 mile walk/jog through the neighborhood. Where did all of that energy come from? Even at 11pm I felt like I could run around the block with ease if someone asked me to!!

Today is my strength training day, I still do our normal evening walk because Sadie and Max look forward to it so much (and would mope until they got their walk), but I’m not going to push a lot of cardio on strength training day. I’ve made an exercise schedule but since exercise is an area where I’m still pretty much a novice, I’m still tweaking and perfecting. For so many years the fitness experts harped on aerobics aerobics aerobics. For a few years now, every expert I’ve talked to, every article I read stresses the importance of strength training combined with cardio. I can’t believe my legs don’t hurt at all today. It feels so good to be back and feel it!

If you are new to strength training and/or are morbidly obese like me, I found an excellent reference on the CDC called Strength Training For Older Adults. The exercises are basic and simple but it was a great place for me to start a few months ago. It was something I stayed with and used to build my strength over time. Now I’m able to do so much more than I could in the past at this weight. If you are looking for a jumping off point and you are on the bigger size or older, this is a great place to start.

If you aren’t exercising at all, I would encourage you to start. Take a walk around the block, even if you can only go 20 feet up the block, tomorrow go 25 feet. Park a little bit further away at the store and take the stairs once in a while. Pick up a set of hand weights and do a few basic exercises. Resistance bands are inexpensive and easy to use. It all adds up. It all counts. Start somewhere, start small…just start. Your body will thank you.

In retrospect accepting the catalog was a good thing

Today we shopped until we dropped, well I dropped. Ken does not drop. Ken could easily be compared to the Energizer bunny on speed….yes I’m serious, he is that energetic and happy all the time! It does get annoying, especially when we stop at the mall after 6 solid hours of shopping already and he parks in the back of the lot when clearly there are at least a dozen spots closer to the door…yes my lazy ass genes were competing with the my feet hurt so bad I don’t think I can walk and if I were a skinny girl you’d be carrying me genes. But I walked and walked some more and when we got in the mall, a super human inner strength took over. My legs have aches in muscles I didn’t even realize I had, considering I walk/jog about 2 miles a day, I’m thinking today was easily a 5 or 6 mile day. Everywhere in the mall people wanted to give me brochures and samples of this or that, no you can’t shine my nails, no you can’t straighten my hair, no I don’t need to upgrade my cell phone and no a giant Bavarian pretzel isn’t on the menu today. Maybe I snapped maybe the pain took over or maybe just maybe I lost my bloody mind but I did in fact threaten the man in the Dead Sea hand lotion kiosk who attempted to get me to try his product by jumping in front of me, thrusting a sample in front of my face and refusing to move. Thank you Ritz Camera for having such a large and intimidating catalog full of overpriced goods, it makes a great self defense tool against aggressive sales people.

Back On Track Again

Wow what a week! Honestly, I told myself and several people that there was no way I was getting on the scale this week. I said I’d just skip it. Ignoring it was easier than seeing a bad number. But then I thought…that’s what the old Diana would do. The old Diana hides from her weight and crawls under a rock and cries when the scale goes up. The new and improving Diana owns up to her food issues, uses the scale as one tool and gets on that scale and takes whatever number comes her way. So I did. I got on the scale this morning and I’m up a pound. That’s up one pound from where I was last week. So I’m back at 360. Considering I peeked at the scale on Saturday and it read 368, I’m looking at 360 as a good thing. I know that much of the gain was from high sodium foods and water retention however, had I not pulled myself back together, I could have been reporting a nine pound gain. But I’m not, instead I’ve found my way back on track and I’m feeling confident once again. I’ve mentioned the Tales from the Scales challenge before but if you want to check out how everyone else did this week, you can click HERE.

I’m happy to report that eating the warm foods at every meal and sipping hot beverages has curbed my urge to overeat! I’m back to using fitday to track my food intake every day and paying close attention to the sodium column.

A few people mentioned that they started walking. It made me recount the past few months and I’m very proud to say that I haven’t missed a day of exercise in over two months. Exercise has been the one thing that I’ve done consisantly RIGHT. There have been days where I’ve wanted to skip but I didn’t. I walked/jogged on my birthday. I walked/stair climbed on our anniversary and you know what? I’m going to walk/jog on Thanksgiving, Chanukah, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Eve and every day in between. And then I’m going to do it all over again in 2008 and every other year for the rest of my life. As long as I’m physically able, I WILL EXERCISE this body!

That counts as a protein right?

Him: Whats wrong?

Me: (gasping for air and coughing) I just inhaled a bug

Him: why did you do that?

Me: well it certainly wasn’t intentional (cough gasp cough)

Him: (laughing) well I guess that takes care of your evening snack, don’t forget to count the calories

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later after leaving the patio doors open to let in some cool night fresh air

Him: Honey what is your shoe doing in the middle of the floor?

Me: I used it to kill that bug

Him: What bug

Me: The one whose guts are still on the ceiling waiting for you to clean them up

Him: Oh thank you very much

Me: Well at least I didn’t call you away from your work to kill this one

Running After Dark

I posted the other day about how excited I was about running for a few feet. Today I jogged for over 1/2 a block!!

As I was jiggling down the block it suddenly occurred to me that it was a VERY good thing that it gets dark earlier now....as I jiggled past one of the houses, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the front window and I suddenly had a horrifying vision of my 358 pound ass jiggling down the block ending up on YouTube...HORRORS!!!! Yeah, I think I'll stick to jogging after dark!

14 Weeks....

I took a peek at the scale this morning and instead of going down, my weight is going up :-(

I know I've been eating right but I'm not exercising very much at all. I told myself I stopped walking outside because of the heat so why didn't I ride the exercise bike or do a WATP DVD? Somewhere along the way I lost my edge. I stopped exercising and I was able to maintain my weight for over 6 weeks...but now the lack of exercise is catching up with me and I need to not only eat right but exercise too.

Sooooooooo with that being said there are about 14 weeks left in the year and I can't leave this year weighing as much as I weigh today or worse...MORE!

In 14 weeks I can safely lose 28 pounds at the rate of 2 pounds per week.

In the next 14 weeks I have the following "special occasions"

Our anniversary - I'm cooking a special but healthy meal
my Birthday - going out to dinner
Thanksgiving - I will be cooking healthy but hearty LOL
his Birthday - going out to dinner
Christmas - I will be cooking healthy but will have some treats

Even with five special occasions, I can still enjoy the holidays if I bump up my exercise to balance it all.

My eating is already on track on a day to day basis. I just need to work out an exercise schedule. I have two books, The Biggest Loser and Best Life Diet and both have exercise schedules. I'm going to look through both options and pick the one that works best for me.

I refuse to gain any more weight this year!!!

I feel like I don't have anything to report. I'm following my plan and exercising still but I don't weigh in until Monday. Honestly, I'm afraid of what I might see. I've been working very hard but I don't feel thinner...what if I haven't lost weight at all? What if I've gained weight?

I haven't missed a day of exercising and I'm ready to start to increase my exercise by doing the Walk Away The Pounds DVD. I can't walk outside further than the 1.5 miles simply because is so hot during the summer months and as it is, when we come home the puppers are so exhausted and they lay on the tile of the kitchen floor and just pant like crazy trying to cool down. I come home dripping with sweat. I'd skip walking outside but they LOVE it and they cry after dinner until we walk. They follow me around the house and will do silly things like lay on my feet so if I move to go out, they won't get left behind. I hear a lot of whimpering until hubby pulls out those harnesses and then its five minutes of complete chaos and of course whoever has to be second to get their harness on will cry and bark like they are getting left behind....they are so silly.

If the results on Monday are bad, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I've toyed with the idea of going back to South Beach but I don't really want to. I did lose weight on it but I need some kind of portion control. I really enjoy the variety I'm eating now, I want to continue on the plan I'm on now...IF its working.

Even though I'm not weighing every day, I'm still a slave to the scale. I'm letting it dictate me without even getting on it....when will this end? How do I break this cycle of addiction?