add ditch digger to my resume

On Sunday morning I slept late. I heard Ken get out of bed at around 7 but I wanted another hour or so. I woke up when Sadie dove into bed with me and I heard the lawn mower outside. She doesn’t like the loud scary noises and sought comfort by burrowing under the pillows and snuggling up next to me. I got up to find a sketch on the note pad in front of my computer and I stared at it for a minute trying to figure out what it was. Had I known what a nightmare this was going to be, I would have gone back to bed and tried for a fresh start. Unfortunately it doesn’t always work out that way.

His sketch was a plan for a sprinkler system for the front and back of the house. We have a very small lawn and a rock front yard but we have a lot of nice shrubs in the front that we’re forever watering. We have water restrictions and we are only allowed to water one day per week. Ken has decided that we need to set up a sprinkler system to make sure we don’t lose these plants. Sounds good right?

Setting up a sprinkler system should be easy enough in theory. He picked out everything we needed on Home Depot’s website and instead of letting them ship it to us we thought we’d save the shipping fee and pick it out ourselves. Of course while we were there we found MANY other things that we needed. We were there for over two hours and by the time we left my legs ached from standing for so long. I need to write to Home Depot and suggest a wives lounge…with a Starbucks. And how many little pieces of connectors do we need? Apparently 27 of them.

After lunch we headed home and he started on several projects, including the sprinkler system.

Me: So how’s it going?

Ken: a-ok

Then I ask the obligatory: Can I do anything to help?

He takes me into the back yard and I help him decide where the sprinkler heads should be placed for best coverage and then he hands me a shovel and a pick axe.

Ken: You can dig the trench for the back yard. About 18 inches deep for the water pipe. You don’t have to do it today, just do a little bit each day so it’s ready for me on Friday.

Me: But Friday is a holiday.

Ken: It’s the 4^th of July, its not a holiday for me

Me: But it’s a holiday for me, don’t you want to go to a BBQ or have a BBQ?

Ken: A BBQ sounds great but we’re still doing the sprinklers

Me: And you wonder why your ancestors got kicked out of this country…..

Just a little warning...

Laughing while drinking diet coke makes it go up your nose and it burns really bad!

We were trying to get our errands done quickly the other day and we got stuck behind a very old man who was driving in the left middle lane of a 4 lane on each side of the road business district area. The speed limit is 50 and he was going under 30 miles per hour. I looked at the man and he had white hair, a big winter coat (it was 88 degrees with 72% humidity) and he is hunched forward clinging to the steering wheel. We are very empathetic towards the elderly and their desire to remain independent. We have a large population of elderly people in this area and they advise them to stay off the roads during rush hour if they aren’t comfortable going with the flow of traffic.

I said “Look at the poor old guy, I wonder what he’s thinking being out here in this busy traffic at this time of the day?” I took a sip of diet coke as Ken replied “I know what he’s thinking” and then in his best 90 year old man voice he said:

My horse went this fast and this is as fast as I’m going

Botox gone wrong, the male edition

Remember back in December when I had my scary day reaction courtesy of Publix GreenWise Sausage Links or veggie sausage? Last night it was Kens turn to have the Botox gone wrong face. I made marinated shrimp last night for dinner, something I’ve made dozens of times but it happened again and I’ve decided shrimp is now off our menu. Dinner was at 7pm and by 7:45 Ken had huge fish lips, tingling feet and hives. This has happened before when he has had shrimp chow mien from a local Asian restaurant but never from shrimp I have cooked at home before. They were frozen and I did all of the normal things, wash them, put them in marinade and prepare them as normal but he had a reaction. I no sooner gave him the Benadryl tablets when I started to itch and break out in hives too. UGH! Ken grew up eating a lot of seafood and never had a problem with shrimp until this past year. I can’t eat most fish because it makes me itch, now we can’t eat shrimp, what’s next? It looks like salmon is the only seafood left on our menu but I don’t plan on buying it in bulk for fear it will be next.

Making a note to stock up on Benadryl tablets.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s now June and I typically report my weight for the month on the first Tuesday of the month however something happened in May and I’ve spent the past week trying to define it in some way.

May had just as many ups as downs and maybe the whole rollercoaster of it all was just a bit overwhelming. I’ve decided that May is beyond defining and that I’m just going to move forward into June and let it be a fresh start for me and for everyone who needs one!

My only morning to sleep in....

5am: bark and whimper because we realllly have to potty

5:05: don’t mind if we sleep in the human bed with you do you?

5:06 to 5:40: grooming, hey don’t complain, there are cheap motels with machines you’d have to put a quarter into to get this much bed shaking and you're getting this for FREE

5:45: clinging to the edge of the bed while the bed hog dogs take up the rest of the bed

6:00: synchronized snoring provided by Ken and Sadie

6:58: finally drift off to sleep again

7:00: face licks and ear sniffs, is it breakfast time yet?

I already know

I had to go to the grocery store to pick up a few things to make a meal that Ken requested…ravioli. I’m not crazy enough to make them from scratch, I did enough of that as a child helping my Mom. Making the pasta dough and rolling out the sheets of pasta by cranking the handle on the old pasta machine. Then she would carefully cut the squares and my sisters and I would spoon the mixture into the square and use a fork to seal the edges. It was quite a process. As tasty as they were, I’m not prepared to make that kind of time or emotional investment in a meal. The emotional investment could easily lead to overeating and that is something none of us need.

I headed to Publix with my list in hand. The only exceptions would be any canned goods or fresh fruits and veggies on sale. No junk food, no processed foods apart from the ravioli.

Those of you from the Southeastern United States are probably familiar with Publix grocery store and their gargantuan scale at the front of every store where you can just hop right up and check your weight. This thing is massive and it has a HUGE dial spins around loud and proud for the world to see. As I walked past the scale to get a sale paper, I paused to let some people pass and an older man just jumped down from the scale and asked me if I was waiting for the scale. I politely told him no thanks because quite frankly I’d rather rip my fingernails off with rusty pliers than jump up on that with everyone watching.

Most of my shopping was done and I’m just cruising along thought the store and mindlessly humming along with the overhead music…if you want my body ANNND you think I’m sexy …and then there she was….thrusting brownies at me….woahhhhh.

She was a young girl in her late teens or early 20’s giving out samples of fresh baked brownies. I would guess she was right around 300 pounds. I could tell she had been sampling the brownies herself by the hint of chocolate fudge frosting in the corner of her mouth. So many things rushed through my head. I’m not perfect, I slip and fall but I’m awake now and not eating mindlessly anymore. I wanted to scream at her and tell her she is wasting her life away over a brownie, I wanted to tell her that she would miss out on so many things because of brownies and she would cry so many times in her life over brownies. But I'm standing there as big as or bigger than her and I said nothing. I know that if someone would have said that to me when I was her age, I wouldn’t have listened, especially if they were morbidly obese themselves.

I smiled politely and said no thank you but she was a natural food pusher and her response was “our brownies are really good, just try a little one” and then she whispered I could eat them all day. I suppose she felt a certain sense of camaraderie in whispering this to a fellow fat girl. I sort of felt my heart sink just a little bit for her and I starred for a second at the fudgy gooeyness and I honestly felt sick at the thought of the overwhelming sweetness.

It was right about then that snapped back to reality and I borrowed a page out of Ken’s book. When we go to Costco or Sam’s he will only try samples of things that he has never tried before. When I asked him why he didn’t want to try a certain thing his response was a simple I already know what that tastes like. He is so right and I didn’t need to eat that brownie sample because lets face it I’ve had hundreds if not thousands of brownies in my life and I do know what they taste like.

It really makes you stop and think about why you put foods in your mouth. They say that you only taste the first few bites and I’ve experimented with things and found that the first bite tastes the best, the second bite is good and the rest are just filler. I’m learning to stop when I’m full and learning to recognize signs of full before they happen so I don’t overeat or mindlessly eat.

With that in mind I smiled politely at the brownie girl and said, I already know what brownies taste like.

The kind of party that fills you with anxiety and dread

We went to a party on Sunday and the same couples I told you about in Dinner and a Workout and Sunday Brunch were there. I don’t want to use their real names out of respect for their privacy so I’ll identify them by their geographical locations.

Mr & Mrs. East hosted Sunday Brunch back in April.

The party on Sunday was hosted by Mr. & Mrs. North and WOW what a day. Temperature was somewhere in the 80’s but it was really humid and overcast. It made for a muggy day. They have a lovely house on a few acres of land, a huge back yard and did I mention the party was a pool party?

No party has had the power to strike fear and dread in my heart like the words POOL PARTY. Was a freak snow storm too much to ask for in Florida in May? Yes I do own a swimsuit but it hasn’t been on my body since we moved out of the condo in 2004. I tried it on but it was so big and saggy, I couldn't wear it. Ken wanted to stop on the way to the party and buy a swimsuit but seriously does he know how stressful swimsuit shopping is? Did he just happen have a case of anti anxiety medication with him? NO HE DID NOT, so why on earth would he suggest such a thing?

That kind of irrational thought was pretty much an indicator of my mood and anxiety level on Sunday morning and during the hour drive to their home. I wore black Bermuda shorts that came down to my knees and a light weight gauze type shirt that is perfect for the summer heat and humidity. I smelled like a combo of bug spray and sun screen...how lovely. In anticipation of a bad hair day, I pulled my hair back into a clip and put on dark sunglasses. I could feel the anxiety, dread and fear welling up inside of me. Everyone would be in the pool playing and I’d say “oh I forgot my suit” or “I just don't like the water” or one of those other long list of excuses I’ve used over the years to avoid pool parties while living in Florida. I even brought a change of clothes in case someone decided to throw me in the pool with my clothes on. Something I sort of secretly hoped for because then I could enjoy the water without stressing about the swimsuit.

I’d stay in the kitchen as much as possible and help Mrs. North with all of the food and party details and let everyone else have fun playing. My plan was to go to the party, make an appearance for an hour or so and then get the heck out of there. Of course things didn’t quite work out like that.

We got there and the first words out of Mrs North’s mouth were “I hope you have on a swimsuit under there, we’re going to play games in the pool” and my reply of helping her in the kitchen was met with an organized and perfectionist ring of “everything is done, we just have to light the grill later and the guys will do that” just as the big wheel of random excuses was spinning in my head about to make a selection up walks Mrs South with news that made me want to throw up. Not just a little bit but a LOT.

You remember Mrs South? She is the one I gave the little pep talk to when she couldn't keep up with us that night we walked at our house, she is the same one who went on to lose 48 pounds between our party and Mr & Mrs. East's Sunday Brunch. Well that darn Mrs South had summer clothes to give me with the tags still on that she bought on sale last year and don't fit her now blah blah blah and...AND there is even a swimsuit in there too…..that evil….she is running my plan…what on earth was she thinking…..how dare she give me a swimsuit! “Come on, I’ll get it for you and you can try it on”

Did I mention that Mrs South probably weighed in at 250 at her highest and I’m sitting at 355 at last count? She was probably a size 24 at her largest and through my protests of “it won’t fit me” she just kept saying “try it on, try it on” I know exactly what size I wear, I spent all day Thursday shopping with my sister. Tops are 4X and bottoms are 26/28. I felt lightheaded, nauseous and I wanted to run, I wanted to just run out the door and leave and never see these people ever again.

I walked into the bathroom off the pool area and took the stupid stupid swimsuit in to try it on and she said she would wait for me in the adjoining bedroom. Now of course everyone was going to want to see me in the “new suit” everyone was going to be looking at me. I was shaking and I felt sick. I didn’t even look at the suit or the size tag, I just put it on thinking it would never fit. I was already envisioning the patented Diana Wiggle, Shimmy and Squeeze I’d have to perform to get this thing up over my hips. Much to my amazement it slipped on quite nicely. It could have been longer through the torso. I looked in the mirror and I could only see myself from the waist up. My huge flabby arms just screamed look at us and I dreaded to know what I looked like from the waist down. I'd have to sneak around the house and see if I could find a full length mirror. As I walked out I was greeted by four HUGE and MIRRORED closet doors. I was HORRIFIED at seeing myself in that much mirrors. Absolutely horrified. What kind of sadists lived here? Who needs that much mirror in one room? I felt so vulnerable and exposed.

“I have this too” she said as she dangled a black sarong type wrap that she tied around my waist. I forced myself to look in the mirrors and see my pasty white skin with a slight tinge of nausea green. My legs don’t really look too bad from mid thigh down, its above that mark that weird lumps and bumps happen, the sarong covered that. I knew I’d have to suck it up and just get out there and start enjoying the party. “it looks great on you, let’s go enjoy the party” she said.

In my head I thought everyone would be looking at me. In reality they were looking for me and looking at us because they were waiting for us. What I was wearing wasn’t important. Yes my arms are flabby and my thighs lumpy but they didn’t matter. No one was looking. No one cared what I looked like.

We all jumped in the pool and played pool volleyball, had raft races and just generally had fun. After a while I forgot my anxieties and my fears slipped away. I had put myself through so much stress and anxiety for nothing. So my body isn’t perfect, so my body is big and lumpy and bumpy. People still like me for me and they enjoy my company. I automatically lumped them in with people who would judge me? What does that say about me? Yes people do judge me for being morbidly obese but I’m judging everyone before they even get a chance to judge me as a self defense mechanism. This is something I’m going to have to work on and learn to let go of because I don’t like that part of my personality.

I loved how freely my body moved in the pool and how good the water felt against my skin. They have a misting system that puts off a mist of water to help stay cool and the screen around the pool kept most of the bugs away. Yes it was hot but it wasn’t as painful as I imagined. Every time Ken caught me having fun he’d say to me “seeeeeee its not so bad is it”

Mrs South told me she had lost another 10 pounds bringing her total to 58 pounds lost, she really looks fabulous and said she feels years younger. YAY congrats to her and her great success. I told her about walking a 5k the other day and she agreed to join me on one once the weather got cooler again, we’re guessing that would be some time in November.

Had it been a different group of people it might have been more difficult but since was around a small group of friends, I was able to relax and enjoy our afternoon…and then the rain came!

We were all forced into the house to enjoy our picnic food and conversation and thankfully I was able to get back to reality and back into the comfort zone of my shorts and t-shirt.

Random bits of nothingness all pulled together into this thing called life

I was walking through Target yesterday, bombarded by visual reminders that not only am I reproductively challenged, I’m also an orphan. Really, I’m not upset about not being a Mom, despite a quote by a sales rep in Cleveland in a recent Newsweek article, I know there is more to look forward to later in life than wrinkles. A childfree life can be quite fulfilling and you get to spend that college tuition money on a cute little sports car. I do have my two fur children Sadie and Max and they got a preapproved Visa card offer in the mail the other day so maybe they’ll surprise me with a new chew toy from Petsmart.

One thing I’m very grateful for today is that, my Mother-in-law lives an ocean away in England. However, they don’t celebrate Mother’s Day in May like we do and yes I found that out the hard way when I neglected to wish her a happy “Mothering Sunday” in March that first year we were married. Oh sure Ken brought flowers to her house that day but I thought he was just being nice but of course he didn’t bother to clue me into the reason. He just assumed I knew and I just assumed that all of those card shops were really excited about Mothers Day and wanted to get those cards out super duper early.

One of the first things Ken learned about men in America when we moved here was that its their duty to barbecue. Oh sure they BBQ in the UK but only on the two Saturday’s of the summer when the country isn’t soaked in rain, here in Florida, the land of sunshine, a BBQ could happen any time and he’d need to be prepared, he quickly realized he lacked BBQ experience. He consulted with a friend of ours who taught him that real men don’t just walk into the kitchen to cook; they go outdoors and use charcoal and flames, the more flames and smoke the better. The danger of smoke and fire puts the MAN back in the caveman. They Barbecue!

Ken takes his role as husband quite seriously and wanted to be the best husband in the world to me and when he heard that the green card applicants in Florida had a special interview section on BBQing he knew it was something he had to master because there was no way in hell he was giving up living in the land of sunshine and going back to that cold rain soaked city called London.

On Saturday he flexed his caveman BBQ skills and smoked a piece of beef that was simply cooked to perfection, grilled corn on the cob and I made fruit salad for dessert. My sister joined us for dinner and I got a little Mother’s Day gift from Sadie and Max that my sister helped them pick out, a ped egg. It was a nice evening.

Sunday we have a trip to the park planned so the guppers can play and later he’ll fill up the foot spa so I can pamper my cavewoman feet and try out the new ped egg. I’m a little scared of it, it sort of looks like a cheese grater for feet. I know several people who have them and they have all raved about it, none of them have complained of cheese grated feet so I’ll be brave and try it. Hopefully it won’t be like the Epilady I bought in the late 80’s; the infomercial that made hair removal look so easy and painless. It hurt so bad I had to drink half a bottle of wine just to use the damn thing, my eyes still water and I feel slightly hung-over just thinking about it.

Aside from the commercialism of the holiday, I really believe that Mom’s are very special and should have more than one special day in the year. So for all of you mothers out there, be it of two legged children or four legged children, Happy Mother’s Day!

And for all of you in the UK who celebrated Mothering Sunday in March….sorry I missed it again, but can you do me a favour? (not a favor but a favour) Can you go leave some flowers on my mother-in-laws front gate? Just sign the card: Happy Mother’s day from your son and the Yankee bitch. Thanks so much!

Somewhere on the north side of crazy town....

I was lying on the bathroom floor when Ken walked in and asked me what I was doing. I couldn’t tell him the truth:

Me: I lost my earring

Ken: You don’t wear earrings

Me: Ahhh you’re right, that’s because its lost and I’m looking for it

He walked away mumbling and I got busy on my mission…my mission to find the secret hidden camera. Now before you think I’ve lost my mind let me just say that my dear sweet husband is very technically inclined and with that English accent he is kinda James Bond'ish'. Lets just say that if he wanted to put a secret hidden camera in front of my scale to see how many times a day I was getting on and off it, technically he could do it.

So what makes me think he has a secret hidden camera? How is it that I can get on the scale FIVE times and each and every time he makes a beeline from his man cave and heads straight to the bathroom to try to catch me in the act? You’ve gotta learn to tippytoe better than that KENNETH, I can HEAR when your foot hits the metal strip between the garage and the kitchen door.

What started all of this? Tuesday when the scale was in the bathroom, I did get on it and off it quite a few times but it wasn’t because I was scale obsessing. I had read an article about weighing before you workout and checking again after you work out and drinking water to replenish the lost weight and prevent dehydration.

Somehow I didn’t think Ken would believe that story about dehydration with me lying on the bathroom floor so I told him I was looking for an earring. It’s not like I was going to tell him I was looking for his secret hidden camera…I’m not THAT crazy.

File this one under humor please :-)

Playing Tourist

Yesterday Ken and I went to Clearwater Beach

and even though we were only 20 minutes from home, it felt like we had stepped out of our lives and into a vacation for the day. There are beautiful photos on the link above if you want to see more.

I moved to Clearwater in the mid 1980’s and with the exception of the 18 months I spent living in London, I’ve always considered Clearwater my home. We live a few towns north of Clearwater now but still just 20 minutes from the beautiful fine grain sugar white sand of Clearwater Beach.

One of the things that I love about this area is that you’re never far from a great day of fun. Orlando and the Disney parks are just 90 minutes away and beautiful beaches are at our fingertips.

We walked about a mile and half in the sand, great exercise for the legs. Even six months ago I wouldn’t have been able to do this. I would have been tired. I would have been searching for a bench, complaining, gasping for air as we walked, crying for Ken to slow down but yesterday was different. We walked and I enjoyed the scenery. I enjoyed the sound of the waves. I watched the tourist trying to get that perfect suntan If you’ve ever seen the movie “Finding Nemo” you might recall a scene where the seagulls all start saying “mine” “mine” mine” we laughed as we watched and listened to the birds sounding like they are saying “mine” just like in that scene.

Ken found a tiny starfish. I asked him if he ever heard the story of The Star Thrower. It’s a classic story of the power within each of us to make a difference in the lives of others. I told him the story so I’ll share it with you too.

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "I made a difference to that one!"

adapted from The Star Thrower
by Loren Eiseley
1907 - 1977

Smelly New Neighbors

New people have moved into the house diagonally behind us. I don’t know much about them so here are the facts so far: two preteens, mother and father, they listen to Salsa music but it’s so faint I have to be in the back corner of the yard to hear it…oh yeah they are smelly people. VERY SMELLY!

Over the weekend we worked on the back yard, which is still a complete mess by the way, and I was finally able to confirm where the smell was coming from.

I always workout in the family room at the back of the house because my computer is there and there is room for me to use the stability ball, hand weights and enough space for some basic floor work. It’s also right in front of my computer so I can play the DVD’s without trying to figure out the other DVD player (that’s a whole other post) Anyhow, the weather has been lovely and I’ve left the back patio doors open for a cool breeze and I’ve noticed the smell…could it be…pancakes? Wow, its pancakes, I wonder if they are topping them with fresh strawberries and whipped cream? So now I’m working out and not thinking about my workout, I’m thinking about PANCAKES.

Saturday we were in the back yard hard at work and it happened again…SAUSAGE and pancakes. Clearly there is some supernatural force at work here directing wind from their kitchen straight down into my back yard, patio and family room. Could the fat gods still be conspiring against me? Never fear, I'm immune to their curses and time is on my side...summer is nearly here and soon my windows and doors will be closed and my air will be recycled, filtered air for four long months.

Sunday morning came and as 9am neared I remarked to Ken we hadn’t had been treated to a smellfest virtual breakfast. I told him to let me know when he was ready for breakfast and I’d go in and make it. He said he wasn’t quite ready so we kept working. Around 9:30 the smell of bacon started to float down the hill and into our patio. Ken said “Do you smell that…its BACON…and the REAL STUFF not that turkey bacon you make me eat….oh smells sooo good!!” I laughed and kept working but I was thinking that it did smell really good. After a few minutes he said “Are you going to make breakfast now or do I have to jump over the fence and introduce myself to the neighbors”

Fat Dogs

In a few minutes we are leaving to take Sadie and Max to their spring comprehensive examination where they will get a thorough check up and any necessary vaccinations and I will get a lecture from the vet. It won’t happen until this afternoon at pick up time but I’m already dreading it. You see, my children are fat. Yes, that’s right, my doggie kids are FAT!

I’ve tried to encourage Ken to feed them less and give them less treats, I’ve asked my sister to give them attention and love when she arrives and not a treat. Of course neither of them listen to me. Believe it or not, I very rarely give them treats. I understand what it’s like to carry too much weight. I don’t want to put any unnecessary stress on their joints or age them before their time. They don’t love me any less for not giving them treats. They love the attention I give them just as much.

On their last visit the vet told me to watch their weight. I came home and shared the news and of course I was ignored. Now I have to face the vet again and hear the lecture again, if there is any good news about Ken being laid off once again it’s that he gets to go to the vet with me to hear it first hand.

Last night Sadie weighed in at 59 pounds, she should weigh about 52 pounds. Max weighed in at 50 pounds, he should weigh about 45 pounds. I've seen previews for that show on TLC, Honey We're Killing The Kids, well I'm thinking we need our own reality series with me and the dogs on a diet with skinny Ken trying to tell us what to eat and what to do and the dog or human who goes the longest without biting him in the butt wins the prize! No? I wouldn't watch that either.

In other news, an email arrived this morning informing me that there is good news, my lucky email has won the sum of $420,000.00 in the South African National Lottery…I can’t tell you what the rest of the email said, I deleted it without opening it and with it went my lucky South African Lottery win, DARN!!. Do people actually fall for this scam?

I think I need a cuppa coffee or seven to face this day. Wish me luck!

On the ball, Off the ball

Yesterday I was sitting on my physio ball getting ready for crunches, Sadie and Max came charging in from outside and leaned over to put my foot out to slow them down. Full of confidence from that maneuver, I sat back up I started to play with my balance. I was feeling pretty proud of how strong my core strength is becoming and I pushed myself even further. I was lost in thought in my own little world.

Just then, Ken walked into the kitchen and startled me, I lost my balance and fell sideways off the ball. I caught myself with my forearm, sat up and started to stretch out arm and neck. Our kitchen has an open area that looks into the family room where I was using the ball. He saw me but didn't see me fall. As he came around the corner he noticed me rubbing my shoulder.

What did you do to your shoulder?

I fell off the ball

What did you do that for? You’re meant to stay on the ball not fall off of it

Thanks coach! I would have been falling off the ball all afternoon if you hadn’t told me that.

Geeeeeezzzze, I was only trying to help

I really do enjoy using the physio ball and there are many sites that demo exercises you can do with the ball, of course none of them include the falling off maneuver that I did yesterday, to get a full body workout. Crunches are so much easier using the ball. I was so immobile when I first started exercising I had a hard time getting up off the floor, when I fell yesterday I amazed myself with how easily I was able to get back up again.

Just don’t fall off your ball or I’ll send Ken over to tell you that you aren’t suppose do that ;-)

a moment in time

Just a few short years ago, I was a woman working in the corporate world, full of drive and ambition. I worked 60 to 70 hours per week with a very busy social life. My wardrobe consisted mostly casual business wear, dress pants, skirts, blouses that I would tie into my social life. I think I owned one pair of jeans back then, but they were black. I know, I can hear the gasping but black jeans were somewhat fashionable back then. I honestly don’t think I knew how to dress casual back then. I didn’t own any athletic clothes and I had one pair of athletic shoes leftover from high school and the pair I wore during my aerobics phase from June of 1991 to September of 1991.

I was still quite overweight during this time, somewhere around 275 and even back then I let my weight consume me…but not to the point where it kept me away from happy hour festivities, but enough that I would maintain my weight.

Somewhere around 1996 my life changed drastically and with a series of letdowns and personal tragedies, I quit caring. I realized that people who I called friends were going down paths I didn’t want to follow. My family life shattered. I kept working the long hours but my social life became nonexistent. The office dress code policy had gone casual somewhere along the way and I finally started dressing casually too…but I still couldn’t embrace the workout shoe or athletic clothes.

WOW how my life changed! 10 years later I gained 175 pounds. A few good things happened in those 10 years, I met Ken. He caught me completely off guard. I had resigned myself to being alone forever and then of course he showed up, being all cute and charming with that English accent. Yes, a few good things happened along the way but you know my weight has always stood in the way of enjoying things and events. I always avoided being in photos because I was too fat. Then along came Ken and he was going to take my picture and I wasn’t going to stop him so I might as well smile. I’m glad he forced the issue because I have some wonderful memories captured because he wanted to take my picture.

So where is my life now? Struggling self employed, married with the wonder twins, Sadie and Max. The only thing I miss about my old job is the paycheck. For the first time in my adult life I’ve included fitness in my life for more than four months. I’ve been walking daily now since August of 2007. I’ve only missed a few days due to weather or injury, I’ve never missed a walk due to lazy.I feel alive. I feel AWAKE and aware of the world around me. I feel like I'm living life, not just merely existing.

What does my wardrobe look like now? I still have lots of professional looking clothes, I still have the dressy casual clothes but a new item has worked its way into my wardrobe. The athletic clothes and athletic shoes! I now have two pairs of athletic shoes and I want more. I’ve found a pair of plus size capris that I love because they wick away the sweat. Wick away sweat?!? I didn’t even know there was such a thing until Nan over at Running from the Pudge recommended that I look for socks that wick away the sweat! I haven’t found tops in my size with wicking that don’t cost a fortune (this is where I miss the paycheck the most) but hopefully I will.

My newest quest is to find plus size workout clothes that are reasonably priced. The bottoms must be capris, the tops must be lightweight to accommodate the Florida weather.

I know I’ve said it before but it needs to be said again. I feel so much better since I started exercising and here I am, looking at the athletic clothes, who is this woman looking back at me from the mirror?

Into The Wild - The Beach Edition

Here I am! Hair pulled back with my sun visor on trying to avoid a sunburn. Unfortunately I didn't realize just how big this old 5X shirt was on me, see how it gapes on my shoulder...lets just say that part of my shoulder got as red from sunburn as the shirt! OUCH!! I'm calling this my "official" 360 lb. photo. Thats a very wet Max beside me, he had just jumped all over me and I'm quite covered in sandy dog paw prints.



Here is Ken with Sadie springing into the air to try and get the flip flop. We have been using flip flops as water toys for them since they were puppies. I told Ken we need to get a bright orange flip flop so it photos better against their black fur. Just pretend that there isn't a cigarette hanging from his mouth....

Another shot of Ken

Max making quite a splash

Here they are!! Our little swim team! Max on the left, Sadie on the right both of them have the flip flop in their mouth after swimming in the water to retrieve it, the both want credit!!


When Sadie or Max get wet we say "give it a shake" meaning, shake off the excess water. I told Sadie to give it a shake and ended up with this photo...next week I'll post the whole shaking series on The Daily Dogs so you can see the funny faces she makes while shaking.

Thanks for joining us at the beach! I'll post more photos next week on The Daily Dogs and a few more photos here tomorrow.

If you missed yesterdays Wild Life Edition with Jurassic Park Noises be sure to check it out and you can always check out the first walk in this park, Take A Walk With Me!

Into the Wild with Jurassic Park Noises and Other Creatures

We had just started off on our adventure through the woods when I heard a startling noise that sounded like. It sounded prehistoric. It sounded like something from Jurassic Park!

Of course I had to investigate so with camera at the ready, I went off down the trail alone in search of the origin of the noise.

When I came to the clearing I saw it standing there in all of its glory...just waiting for me and my camera to show up for his photo session.


Then he turned to the front for a better view, clearly he has done this before. Aren't his colors simply amazing!!

Disappointed that I wasn't a peahen, this peacock is taking his feathers and going home!




I left the peacock and went off to catch up with Ken, Sadie and Max who had headed to the beach without me! When I got there I came across this creature in the tower!!! I think the creature is WAVING to me.....



One of the things I've tried to do over the past few weeks is slow down and enjoy the world around me. As I was walking through the woods, there were several of these flowers thriving on the bits of sunlight that managed to filter through the canopy of trees above



This pretty butterfly was gracious enough to pose a fraction of a second for me....



Max made a new friend too! We see these little guys in this park all of the time and Sadie and Max's reaction is the same every time....What is that thing? Sniff Sniff Where did it go? Then it moves and they jump 3 feet in the air

When Max moved I put the camera down on the ground and just pushed the button hoping for shot of this shy guy's face... You can clearly see his nose and if you look closely you can see his eyes too!


Thanks for joining me on part 1 of my walk through the woods...the April edition!

Over the weekend I'll post more photos of Sadie and Max enjoying the beach and a few of me and Ken too!! If you can't wait to see more of Sadie and Max, you can check out their blog The Daily Dogs for the photos I've posted there yesterday and today! If you missed our last walk through the park, its not too late to Take A Walk With Me!

Whatever your weekend holds, be sure to slow down and enjoy the life...if only for a few moments.

Note: you can click on any of the photos for a larger view.

Eccentric

I was probably about three years old when I first heard the word eccentric. My Dad was going to visit his much older sister who was in a nursing home nearby and it had started my parents fighting once again. When I was ten years old that aunt was the talk of the table in our family when we heard she had died. Once again the word eccentric was used and I remember asking my Mom what it meant and while I didn’t know it then, her definition was meant to be a insult to my Dad and his family. Mom told me that eccentric is a polite way of saying someone was crazy. I knew what crazy was, I had overheard relatives talking about the movie One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. Crazy wasn’t a good thing! A few years later I learned that my aunt may have been eccentric but cause behind her odd behavior was dementia.

Yesterday friend of mine emailed an article from Newsweek and I shared that article with Ken and told him about my aunt with dementia. The article titled Big Belly, Bad Memory talked about the link between belly fat and dementia. I found it both disheartening and motivational at the same time. Not only is there a link between belly fat and dementia but all of the other diseases scare the sedentary people like me off the sofa and walking/jogging 2 miles a day!

Ken: that was an interesting article

Me: I know, even more reason to keep at this and get the weight off

Ken: you’ll get there

Later in the day….

Me: Honey have you seen the bottle of nail polish, I thought I put it back in the bathroom?

Ken: Oh no!!!! The memory loss is starting…forget painting your toes and go do your exercise

Me: Ha Ha Ha very funny, well at least I have an excuse, what’s your excuse? (said in my very best I'm not angry but don't push it buddy voice)

Ken: I don’t have any trouble remembering things, I know my name, I know what year it is AND I know I’m married to the most wonderful woman in the world…..

Confession time

He has been reading my blog again and he caught me in a lie!

I was in the bathroom, YES the bathroom and he came in (without knocking) and started quoting my blog…”I ran to the top of the tower three times” Liar liar pants on fire….Ummm, I’m in the middle of something here.

Ok so I confess, I DIDN’T run to the top of the tower THREE times. I ran to the top of the tower TWICE and half of a third time and then walked up the rest of the way the third time. Yeah, those are MY PANTS and YES they are on FIRE!

DRAT!! I’ve been caught in a lie!

But before you go throwing your fire wood on my burning pants, lets recap the day shall we? The morning of the walk I did a 1 mile Walk Away the Pounds DVD at 8am and then just before we went on our nature hike I said “let me do the 20 minutes of Biggest Loser functional flexibility with warm up and cool down FIRST, then we can go”

We walked the 1.5 miles of the trail and I ran up to the top of the tower twice and ran half way up the third time and then walked the rest of the way up and took the photos and caught my breath for a few minutes before we went back down and I walked the rest of the way out of the woods.

So there! I did tell you I ran to the top of the tower three times and it wasn’t completely true. But Sheeeesh, I earned the right to slow down a bit since I had already put in 50 minutes of workout time and walked a mile through the woods!!

I should also add we walked the 1.5 mile route that night and I jogged FOUR sections of that route! So how about it Ken, I’ll be in the bathroom later around 4, would you like to pop in and tell me that I lied and only jogged 3.75 sections of the route and my jog during that last quarter of the section I was kind of staggering more than jogging? Just don’t forget the arm workout I got while swinging at that swarm of gnats…hey that counts as exercise and you’d stagger and swing your arms wildly too if you just inhaled a whole family of gnats.

I didn’t tell you all of that did I? Phew, I feel better now that I’ve confessed my deep dark secrets to all of you and now Ken can get a gold star and move to the head of the class. But shhhhh what ever you do....don’t tell him that I found the scale the other day mmmwwwhahahahahaha (insert evil laugh here)

Note: Those of you who have been reading my blog for any period of time know that Ken and I have a semi-warped sense of humor and love to joke around and tease each other so please read this post with the same humor that we found in my “lie” and please don’t send Ken hate mail LOL. Did I mention my legs hurt too much yesterday to kick him in the pants for calling me a liar? They are feeling MUCH better today mmmwwwwahahahahahahahahahaha

Take A Walk With Me

You're invited to go on a walk with me, Ken, Sadie and Max! Its in the low 80's (28 celsius) and there is a strong breeze, be sure to wear your sunscreen, bring along some water, put on your comfortable shoes and lets get going

We're headed to the park 2 miles from my house to go walking on the trails. Its really not safe to walk to the park because of the narrow roads through the marshes. So we drove.

Max couldn't resist putting his head out the window and since we were going slow and we were on a back road, we let him for a few seconds......

Welcome to the park! There are two trails, we parked and headed down the sleepy lagoon trail , now its time for Rocky Creek Loop.

Sadie and Max could smell the sea air and wanted to run ahead with Ken while I stopped to take a few pictures.

Time to take a rest and have a drink!

Down the trail and just through the clearing is the Gulf of Mexico...

Its high tide so there really isn't a beachy area today. Max really wanted to go swimming and walked down for a closer look.

Here is the creek we walked past on Rocky Creek loop to get there, we passed a few fishermen and people in kayaks who didn't dare head to the island in the high winds.

Here is the observation tower. I have never been to the top of it because when we get this far I'm exhausted and can't possibly climb steps...

Today I RAN to the top!!!

View to the north. There is a people beach at the furthest park but this is our secret beach where we can bring the dogs for a swim. The water isn't deep and at low tide, a nice dog friendly beach is revealed. They LOVE to swim in the water but we didn't let them swim today.

View to the south...just behind that tree is the pier at the dog park we go to. We are very lucky and have three nature parks along this stretch of coast, all within 1.5 miles of each other.

Even Sadie and Max went up to the top! This was their very first time on stairs! Sadie went up and down them like an old pro and even Max with his little legs figured out how to hop up and down them. I ran up and down them THREE TIMES!!!

Wow that was exhausting! I'm so thirsty my tongue is hanging out!

Max is thirsty too!

Its a good thing we brought the puppy water bowl.

Look at the bird up in the tree.

Its an osprey eagle!

WOW, wasn't that fun? Congratulations you just walked 1.5 miles!

Thanks for joining us on our walk today! Doesn't it feel good to get out and enjoy the fresh sea air and sunshine? Maybe next time we'll see the peacocks and a few more birds, turtles, crabs, jumping fish and maybe even a few dolphins or manatee. You never know what you'll see when you head out for a walk! So until next time...

stupid corner

Saturday over breakfast coffee on the patio....I'm reading the paper, he is working on a laptop. Keep in mind that I'm usually the cranky one and he is Mr Sunshine....

The sky is blue, the birds are singing and there is a gentle breeze in the air....

Me: a church having a yard sale near here, do you want to go?

Him: Sure, maybe they'll have one of those thing-a-me's I've been looking for, where is it?

Me: Its on XYZ street? Do you know where that is? I've never heard of it? (laughing, and I pause) Whats a thing-a-me?

Him: (thinking for a few seconds) Oh no (with disgust) I hope its not that stupid church on that stupid corner

Me: Its not the stupid church on the stupid corner (laughing) maybe it won't be so bad, it says in the paper they have thing-a-me's

Him: tsk, you know what I mean

Me: Maybe you should have another cup of coffee before we go