Surviving Black Friday

At 4am on Friday morning as I was dancing at the masquerade ball in an absolutely gorgeous size 10 gown made of flowing burgundy silk, encrusted with diamonds I was overcome with fear as a loud noise overpowered the music, my hands instinctively tried to cover my ears and as they did, my fingers became entangled in my blond ringlet wig and tiara. I watched in horror as they slipped from my head and crashed to the ground as arms wrapped around me pulled me high up into the air soaring above the party and into the clouds towards the horrible intrusive noise.....beeeep beeeep beeeep beeeep beeeeep beeeep.....arrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhh stupid alarm clock.

I quickly realized that the only real part of the past few minutes was the arms wrapping around me and the horrible beeping noise. Ken had rolled over to hug me and the alarm clock was ringing....Time to get up on BLACK FRIDAY.

4:30am leave house
4:35am arrive at Sams
5:00am Sams opens, get 42" LCD HD blah blah blah TV and a Garmin Road Pilot GPS
5:30am arrive at Staples
5:31am wonder what the hell am I doing here in the plaza from hell? In one shopping plaza right next to the mall, ToysRUs, Staples, Circuit City and Target. The HUGE parking lot was full, people were parking at the mall and walking across the street, thankfully Ken is a "create your own parking" kinda of guy and we pulled beside ToysRUs and found a spot on the side.
5:35am in line at Staples, we are going one way as the line for Circuit City is going the other way, we compare shopping lists with the people in the other line. Ken wanders down to Target and reports back that the police are warning people to not push or cut lines when the door opens
5:45am overhear conversation between boy aged 5 and his Mom, still laughing my ass off
Boy: Mom why do they call it black Friday
Mom: I don't know
a few minutes pass
Boy: Mom I think they call it black Friday because you shop while its still dark
6:00am Staples opens, find 2 Bluetooth headsets ($15 each) and a 400GB hard drive for $60, check out lines were hellish, over 200 people and only four checkouts!
7:15am leave Staples and drive through mall parking lot and stare in disbelief at the people going into and out of Best Buy
7:30am arrive at Michaels where I scoop up LOTS of beads for future jewelery making projects
7:45am Bed Bath and Beyond Ken finds a multi tool with flashlight that he MUST have
8:15am Walgreens, buy one pair of reading glasses, get two free
8:30am Biglots....didn't find anything there
8:40am HOME!!!

Round 2:
10:30am head out again to Target, Petsmart and Walmart. I was SHOCKED that it was just after 11am and Target and Walmart weren't very crowded at all. In the past they would be packed all day long! In Target I walked past the DVD's and see a copy of Marie Antoinette and realize that on Thursday night I saw a clip of the movie...thats where the costumed ball dancing got into my head and came out in my dream!!!

Round 3:
4:30pm realize nice new TV needs a new stand. We head out shopping and find one after 10 or 20 stops

7:00pm back home again, exhausted, can barely move.....


I'm never shopping on Black Friday again

You said that last year

I know

You'll say it again next year too

I know

Next year will be worse

Why?

Next year you'll be all skinny and need to buy new clothes too

Yeah and a new ball gown too

Huh?

Never mind (but I had a HUGE grin on my face, even through the aches and pains)