Almost Famous

Ken: There is a message on the machine for you, they just called but I couldn’t pick it up in time.... I think it was your sister Debs, she said something about watching the Rachel Ray Show tomorrow (Thursday) Maybe her and Jabber Jaws are going to be on Rachel Ray?

For a brief moment I thought maybe she had gone to NYC and was in the audience or maybe she was going to be a guest on the show. Poor Rachel would never get a word in edgewise! Heaven forbid Jabber Jaws, her college freshman daughter went with her, Rachel’s head would still be spinning. Those two can TALK! Seriously, get the two of them on the phone and I have to have two fully charged phones on standby. Maybe I’ve just imagined this but sometimes when I call and her hubby answers the phone he kind of laughs when he says he’ll put them on the phone. I think he is giddy because he knows he’ll have two hours of peace and quiet while they talk to me.

Debs, who lives near Harrisburg Pennsylvania, works for a small family owned candy company called Brittle Bark and Brittle Bark Poppin’ Time is going to be the snack of the day on the Rachel Ray Show. Unfortunately I wouldn’t be seeing her or Jabber Jaws on TV today but when I watch the Rachel Ray Snack of the Day being passed around the room, I’ll know that Debs had a part in that. She elaborated, The Cumberland County newspaper article explained how they ended up as snack of the day, but when The Sentinel reporter asked Debs what she did at the company and she said “I’m putting the Poppin' Time Brittle Bark in the bag so I guess I’m the bag lady” Hmmm the bag lady and to think they didn’t mention you in the article, lol. So today I’ll have the DVR set for Rachel Ray so that when they pass out the snack of the day, I will know that Debs helped put all of those beautiful boxes together.

So in catching up with each other’s lives, I kind of mentioned that I had a little blog thing going on. Debs is very rarely online but still my stomach did a little flip flop when I heard her pen scribbling the name down and her asking me if she spelled ScaleJunkie.com correctly. Thinking about people in my family reading about my life reading about my struggles with eating disorders, morbid obesity and life, yes it does make me feel more than slightly vomitous. Don’t get me wrong, Debs has had her fair share of struggles but she has never been overweight. Of course she says she is now but I haven’t seen her since 2001. I think most of my siblings in one way or another struggled with some form of addiction. I thought about it a bit more and I remembered that strangers and new blogging friends read my words and I’m not ashamed of that, why on earth should I be ashamed if my family read my words. I think my answer kind of shocked me. I’m not ashamed for myself, I’m ashamed for them. I don’t want to embarrass them. I don’t want to bring the shame that I feel in being morbidly obese into their lives. I don’t want them to see that I have a “problem” that I’m struggling. Hello??!!?? They have eyes, they can see that I’m morbidly obese. I WEAR my problem on the outside, yes, it’s a lot on the inside too but it’s something I’m finally dealing with after all of these years. She told me she was happy that I was losing weight and we spent some time comparing our addictions and found they really aren’t that different after all.

Debs, D, Jabber Jaws, if you’re reading this…Hi, I love you!!